Monday 14 November 2011

Thoughts from the darkness

Surrounded by darkness I go out in to the unknown with a distant goal in sight. It’s in the middle of the night and I’m alone on a glacier. Fear is definitely stronger when alone compared to when being shared. 
The black holes surrounding me are reaching out to me whispering the imaginary consequences of any mistake. 
The cold is creeping straight in to my bones and there are no where to hide, no where to escape. To be able to move on, the only thing to do is to face the sensations within that are confronting me. 
Is my craving for the objective stronger than my will to run away? Our inner self is always striving for the way of least resistance - but climbing a mountain is quiet the opposite. 
So what is driving us to keep on moving up, up towards the stars? 
Is it for the relative joy of suffering to be able to enjoy it’s opposite even more? As pleasure can only be known relative to it’s counterpart - pain... 
Or, are we seeking the challenge the mountains gives us to: meet an opponent that can beat us, in order to be able to learn as much as possible from life. Following the theory that friction brings knowledge. It’s only when we meet the best opponent that the best within us is needed. There in lies the secret behind the holy enemy. 
And it’s only when we are really giving it all that we will find the real treasures of the depth within. 
How will we understand our own immensity, if not by breaking the mirror cage of reality we have ourselves built? 
Or, could it be that what we are searching for among the snow, ice and rock is only relative stories to take home and impress those around us? 
The relativity of our actions are making us bigger or smaller than our brothers and sisters. 
And there by, is also giving us the same relative pleasure or pain. 
Or, could it be other reasons - like the joy to create, what ever it might be, in space and time?
Are the mountains inspiring our creativity to put action upon action that in the end creates what’s here and now?
Or, could it be because of the pure joy that moving upwards and feeling the aliveness of your heart pumping around the blood through your veins. The joy of watching the sunrise lifting the mountains up from the darkness and the joy of sharing an effort and adventure with someone beloved. 
Or, just the simple joy of being alive and with an understanding smile reason; This have no meaning whatsoever, like everything else in life, but I’m going to play with it and pretend that this is why the sun wakes up every morning and why the tides work their way up and down the coast line. 
Action and reaction loses their effects when there are no beginnings and no ends. 
Everything is just simply the way it is - and there can actually be peace in this and that. It’s good enough. It just is. 


  1. Very thoughtful and honest. The Why? is a big question and I've attempted to answer it in many of the ways you do. Though I want to simply accept "it" as "it just is," to simply be, at the same time, it's hard to not ask Why? I suppose we will keeping being and asking. That, in a way, is life.